The Scandalous Tale Of The Rogue Priest, Themel

A priest named Themel was said to have preached in Herakleos, a village which belonged to the emperors of Constantinople. His home town was in a precarious location, set within striking distance from the hostile lands of Tarsus and Aleppo. Themel lived in the 10th century, and his community was thrown into chaos by the constant warfare between Emperor Constantine VII (sole rule 945-959) and Emir Sayf al-Dawla of Aleppo (r. 945-967). Themel reportedly got a personal taste of the era’s prevalent bloodshed, and his experience would take him down a truly bizarre path.

According to the historian John Skylitzes (c. 1040-1101), a band of scavengers and foragers from Aleppo or Tarsus arrived at Herakleos to commandeer food to feed their army during the ongoing border struggle between the Empire of Constantinople and its Muslim neighbors. At the time, the people of Herakleos were reportedly in the middle of Holy Mass, and the priest Themel was leading them in the celebration of the Eucharist. Messengers interrupted Themel’s liturgy, informing the congregation of the arrival of the hostile foragers. Upon hearing of this news, Themel apparently decided to not only lead his flock in prayer, but to also lead them in battle—as the story goes, Themel ended his church service prematurely, then stormed off to face the looters. For a weapon, the priest reportedly picked up a semantron, a large wooden or metal beam used as a percussion instrument in the church. As for armor, he simply wore his religious vestments. Thus equipped, the warrior-priest joined the fray and allegedly bludgeoned a few of the scavengers to death with his trusty semantron, helping the town of Herakleos to drive off the enemy.

One might expect that Themel would have been treated as a hero after the battle—after all, it was the Middle Ages, and militant religious figures were, at the time, condoned and often praised. Nevertheless, praise was not in Themel’s future. If he were a character in a literary work,  you could say that his path underwent a sudden and bizarre plot twist. Instead of being applauded and praised, the priest would be vilified by his countrymen.

The bishop over Themel’s diocese reportedly took issue with the warrior-priest’s actions. Be it the blood-spattered vestments, the gore-stained semantron, or the neglected Eucharist, the bishop held a grudge against Themel that never healed. Due to their unreconciled differences, the bishop reportedly sabotaged Themel’s pastoral career and blocked the priest from continuing his ministry. Themel reacted poorly to the bishop’s interference, and the situation made him begin to reevaluate his life.

Themel, suppressed and criticized by the bishop, eventually chose to drastically change the direction of his life. He reportedly renounced the priesthood and fled to Tarsus or Aleppo, where he was said to have joined armies opposed to the emperors of Constantinople. According to Byzantine scholars, the former priest Themel apparently abandoned Christianity, itself, after his flight. On Themel’s career after his defection, John Skylitzes wrote, “So he went over to the Hagarenes and renounced Christianity. He joined forces with them, and not only ravaged Cappadocia and the adjacent themes but penetrated as far as what is called Asia Minor” (Synopsis of Byzantine History, chapter 11, section 8).

Written by C. Keith Hansley

Picture Attribution: (Conquest of Jerusalem painted by Émile Signol (1804–1892), [Public Domain] via Creative Commons).

Sources:

• A Synopsis of Byzantine History by John Skylitzes (c. 1040-1101), translated by John Wortley (Cambridge University Press, 2010).
• https://www.britannica.com/topic/Hamdanid-dynasty 
• https://www.britannica.com/biography/Constantine-VII-Porphyrogenitus
• https://www.encyclopedia.com/arts/culture-magazines/ode-reconquest-al-hadath 
• https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100443950 
• https://referenceworks.brillonline.com/entries/encyclopaedia-of-islam-2/sayf-al-dawla-COM_1010 
• https://www.britannica.com/biography/Sayf-al-Dawlah  
   

The Reaction Of 10th-Century Constantinople To Conjoined Twins

In the mid-10th century, two travelers entered the city of Constantinople (modern Istanbul) and caused quite the stir. The pair were conjoined twins, and their unexpected arrival at the city was initially met with shock, and then hostility. John Skylitzes, an 11th-century historian, mirrored the feelings of his ancestors in his own statements about the event: “In those days a monstrous thing came to the imperial city from Armenia…males sharing a single belly, but they were driven out of the city as an evil portent” (Synopsis of Byzantine History, chapter 11, section 38). As for the date of the twins’ entry and exit from the city, Skylitzes only divulged that the event took place near the end of the reign of Emperor Romanos I (r. 919-944). Given the threats faced by the empire at the time—their precarious relationship with the Bulgarians, the raids of the Magyars into imperial lands (beginning around 934), and an attack by the Rus in 941—it is no wonder that the people of Constantinople wanted to rid themselves of whatever they perceived could cause bad luck.

After the conjoined twins left Constantinople, there was a power shift in the empire. Romanos’ predecessor was a child-emperor named Constantine VII who ascended to the throne in 913, reportedly at the age of seven. As the emperor was young, the empire was ruled by a regency council. Romanos I, who eventually became Constantine’s father-in-law, came to dominate the regency and usurped power in 919, pushing Constantine VII further and further into the background as the decades passed. In 944, however, Constantine VII backed a successful plot by Romanos’ sons to oust the old usurper, their father. Constantine followed up this success by rallying his supporters and arrested Romanos’ sons in 945, finally taking his rightful place as the sole emperor of Constantinople.

The conjoined twins from Armenia returned to Constantinople sometime after Constantine VII (r. 944-959) regained power. This time, the twins were more openly received. Instead of recoiling in horror and shock, the people of Constantinople now were apparently more curious than frightened and allowed the twins to live the rest of their days in the city. Eventually, one of the conjoined twins died, and intrigued physicians from Constantinople eagerly volunteered to separate the surviving conjoined twin from his deceased sibling. John Skylitzes recorded their bittersweet results: “When one of the twins died, some experienced doctors tried to excise the dead portion—and they were successful, but the living twin survived only a short while and then died” (Synopsis of Byzantine History, chapter 11, section 38).

Written by C. Keith Hansley

Picture Attribution: (16th century painting of Constantinople by Sebastian Münster (–1552), [Public Domain] via Creative Commons).

Sources:

• A Synopsis of Byzantine History by John Skylitzes (c. 1040-1101), translated by John Wortley (Cambridge University Press, 2010).

The Bizarre Tale About A Magic Statue Linked To The Death Of Simeon I Of Bulgaria

Simeon I became ruler of the Bulgarians in 893 and greatly contributed to his peoples’ military and cultural ascendance. Showing no fear of his powerful neighbors in Constantinople, Simeon declared war on Emperor Leo VI as early as 894 in order to protect the trade rights of his Bulgarian merchants in Constantinople. From that time on, Simeon frequently declared war against Constantinople, expanding his own power and influence at their expense. Romanos I of Constantinople was finally able to bring Simeon into a semblance of peace in 924, and the Bulgarian leader took the opportunity to focus his efforts against the Serbs and Croats. In 927, Simeon’s impressive military career was dealt a heavy blow, when his army suffered a significant defeat in Croatia. Not long after that disappointing campaign, still in the year 927, Simeon I of Bulgaria suffered from heart failure, or of a heart attack, and died on May 27.

Common heart failure may be the traditional, accepted, and most likely cause of Simeon’s death, yet another version was recorded by the medieval historian, John Skylitzes (c. 1040-1101). Skylitzes’ account, mind you, is unlikely, far-fetched and folkloric, but the tale is nevertheless an enjoyable read.

According to Skylitzes, a certain astronomer (or more likely an astrologer) named John met with Emperor Romanos I (r. 919-944) in 927 and, based on whatever omens he could read from the alignment of the stars at that time, gave the emperor instructions on how to bring supernatural doom on Simeon I. The aforementioned John (the astrologer, not the historian) somehow determined that the life of the Bulgarian ruler was magically linked to a single statue that stood near the heart of Byzantium. This statue, John claimed, was none other than the statue of Arkadios, which could be found in a forum built on a hill to the west of the city of Constantinople. In order to harm Simeon, Emperor Romanos supposedly needed only to deface the statue. In particular, the mysterious astronomer or astrologer suggested that the emperor chop off the statue’s head. John Skylitzes tied this peculiar piece of folklore into the traditional story of Simeon’s death in the following way:

“An astronomer named John came to the emperor and said that if he would send someone to cut off the head of the statue standing above the apse of the Xerolophos and facing west, Simeon would immediately die—for his fate was magically linked to that of the statue. Convinced by this speech, [Romanos] had the head of the statue cut off and in that very same hour (as the emperor precisely discovered) Simeon died in Bulgaria, carried off by a heart attack” (Synopsis of Byzantine History, chapter 10, section 17).

Written by C. Keith Hansley.

Picture Attribution: Painting of a temple and Trajan’s Column painted by Hubert Robert (1733–1808), [Public Domain] via Creative Commons

Sources:

• John Skylitzes. A Synopsis of Byzantine History: 811-1057, translated by John Wortley. Original text c. 11th or early 12th century. New York: Cambridge University Press, 2010.
• https://www.britannica.com/biography/Simeon-I 
• https://www.encyclopedia.com/history/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/simeon-king-bulgaria 
• https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/acref/9780195046526.001.0001/acref-9780195046526-e-5222  

The Interesting Arab “Trojan Horse” Strategy Allegedly Used Against The City Of Edessa

In 1038, the Byzantine Empire controlled the city of Edessa. The city, however, was coveted by the nearby Muslim caliphates. Two years prior, in 1036, a coalition led by Nasr ad-Daula the Marwanid and Sabib ibn Wahhab the Numairite attempted to take the city, but their attack was repelled. This failure, if the sources of the 11th-century historian, John Skylitzes, are correct, eventually prompted a dozen unnamed Arab chieftains to attempt their own version of the classic “Trojan Horse” in a bid to take the prized city.

At the time of the alleged incident, the commander of the Byzantine forces in Edessa was a certain Barasbatzes the Iberian. According to Skylitzes, this Barasbatzes witnessed twelve curious Arabian chieftains arrive at the gates of Edessa. They proclaimed that they had come in peace, and better yet, they had also brought with them a baggage train of a thousand large treasure chests, which they planned to hand over to the Byzantine emperor. The chiefs and their guards set up camp outside the city, but they requested that the large treasure chests be carried into the city.

For the night, Barasbatzes the Iberian decided to keep the chests located outside of the walls with the Arab camp, but he did invite the chieftains into Edessa for a large banquet. While the men of influence enjoyed their feast, an Armenian beggar was said to have gone to the wealthy Arabian camp to ask for coins—after all, they had brought with them a fortune that could only be contained by one thousand chests. As he was passing by the endless trunks, the Armenian began to hear Arabic voices coming from inside the many boxes. Unnerved by the situation, the beggar fled back to the city and reported what he had heard to the city’s garrison.

Messengers soon interrupted the banquet where the city’s commander was feasting with the chieftains. After the message was delivered, Barasbatzes arrested the chiefs and surrounded the Arab camp with his own troops. He had his soldiers methodically pry open the one thousand treasure chests. In each container, the soldiers supposedly found a fully geared Arab warrior waiting to be smuggled into the city. If the Byzantine commander had let the treasure chests into his city, these hidden Arabian warriors were supposedly going to break out of their boxes at night and slaughter the garrison. Instead, according to the tale, an Armenian beggar foiled the plot and the Arabian soldiers were the ones who were massacred.

After each container was emptied of its heavily-armed inhabitant, Barasbatzes confronted the detained chieftains. He then executed eleven of the twelve chieftains. The last chieftain was said to have been released, but only after he was mutilated by having his hands, nose and ears amputated.

Written by C. Keith Hansley.

Picture Attribution: (A caravan outside of the city of Morocco, by Edwin Lord Weeks  (1849–1903), [Public Domain] via Creative Commons).

Sources:

• John Skylitzes. A Synopsis of Byzantine History: 811-1057, translated by John Wortley. Original text c. 11^th or early 12^th century. New York: Cambridge University Press, 2010.